Motherhood for me is a beautiful, chaotic, exhausting and transformative experience. And like many of us, it often comes with a silent expectation to do it all. We strive to be the perfect caregiver, doting spouse, expert household manager, while also maintaining a thriving career and friendships. But where is the time to nurture and pour into ourselves? We love our children, our partners, and our homes, but sometimes it feels like we’re drowning in a sea of to-do lists and responsibilities. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood, I’m with you.

In my own short journey as a millennial mom, I have spent the last two-plus years trying to balance all the things: Working from home, cooking, cleaning, planning and managing all the details that come with being a married yet single mom. (I’ll get into that later. Stay tuned.) Admittedly, I do take pride in being ‘That Mom.’ You know, the one who can handle it all. Yet in trying to do so, I sometimes forget one crucial piece: The joy.

Embracing Support is Self-Compassion

When Laila was roughly 18 months old, after one particularly hard day mothering alone, I decided, forget this, it’s time to lean all the way into my soft life era. And it was with this one resolute decision—to ask for help and hire support—that I truly began to find joy in my motherhood journey. Outsourcing, for some, may seem like a foreign concept, especially when so many of use have been raised to believe that mothers should be self-sufficient and handle it all. But let me tell you: Asking for help isn’t a sign of failure; it’s an act of self-care, empowerment, and ultimately, a way to reconnect with what really matters—your family, your well-being and your happiness.

At its core, outsourcing is about prioritizing you and your family. When you try to do everything yourself, you risk burning out, becoming resentful, or losing touch with what makes motherhood sacred and special. By outsourcing some tasks, you free up space for what matters most: Quality time with your children, meaningful moments with your partner and the time to take care of yourself.

Think of outsourcing as an investment in your happiness. It’s about putting your mental health first and recognizing that you don’t need to do everything alone. Embracing support is a form of self-compassion and a way to show your children that it’s okay to ask for help when life gets overwhelming. If you’re constantly running on empty, how can you show up fully for anybody or anything that truly matters to you? Outsourcing enables you to be present and engaged in the moments that really count.

How I Outsource as a Pathway to Joy

Housekeeping
I have an amazing housekeeper, Elena, who cleans our home from top to bottom on a bi-weekly basis. If I am pinched for time, I also gladly pay her extra to fold the load or two of laundry I somehow always manage to leave in the dryer.

Laundry
In the past, I have utilized a wash-and-fold service for my and my husband’s clothes (never Laila’s!). I liked it just fine. However, I found that I preferred specific laundry detergent that the company simply couldn’t accommodate. So while I have taken this task back in-house, I find that I still save time when Elena helps me with the folding when I get behind. Win-win.

Grocery Shopping
Instacart is my BFF. With an active toddler, in-store grocery shopping threatens to take me out every time. And with in-store prices on the app, I don’t find that I’m paying too much extra for the convenience. I use the notes section to clearly articulate my item preferences and usually pick my own replacements to avoid ending up with something I don’t want or we won’t consume.

Childcare
Alejandra has been with our family for over a year now. She is truly a godsend. Currently, she works in our home in the late morning thru the early afternoon on the weekdays when Laila is not in half-day pre-school. When she first came to us, she worked four-hour shifts five days a week. I typically use this time to work. In between I may step out for a doctor’s appointment, run a ‘business hour’ errand, or recharge with a nail or hair appointment.

Yard Work
While our yard is quaint, having Steven, our landscaper, on-call to mow the lawn, rake leaves, trim hedges and handle the heavy outdoor chores certainly takes the load off my shoulders. We enjoy a well-kept yard without me breaking a nail.

Handyman
DIY is not my ministry. In the middle of the night, I may decide to move art from one wall to another, change out light pendants or window treatments. So having an affordable and reliable handyman on call helps maintain some semblance of order in my home. If I am overly impulsive and just can’t wait for Sam to become available, I will contact someone on Thumbtack or Task Rabbit to get the job done.

For me, outsourcing isn’t just a way to manage my time—it is a pathway to joy. When I learned to stop trying to do everything myself, I opened up space for the things that truly matter. With the mental space I’ve gained, I can focus on the things that make me a better mom—whether that’s giving Laila my undivided attention or nurturing my own passions outside of parenting. I’m learning everyday that my motherhood journey is less about perfection and productivity. It’s more about presence, love and meaningful moments. Outsourcing has given me the time and peace to create more of all three.

What are some must-haves in your home that allow you to let in more joy? I have included a few of mine below.